If you want to be a leader, every time something happens to our team, you have a choice of looking through a window or a mirror. You need Double-Vision.
l When you look into a mirror, you see yourself. When you look into a window, you see what is going on around you. You see what is happening to your teammates.
l When something goes right, a leader looks through a window and gives credit to those around him. When something goes wrong, a leader looks into a mirror and takes responsibility for his part in what went wrong.

Game Preparation:

Composure: Focused, confident, assertive. It is not about being calm. You will never feel totally calm during a competition. This is battle
The Night Before:

Do: Do your best to relax and enjoy the moment. Get lost in casual activities that you normally do. Do things that support your needs as a competitor.
Don’t: Don’t dwell on tomorrow; that drama will come soon enough. Don’t waste any of the special excitement (energy) that comes with the thrill of the unknown.
The Morning of:

Do: Chill out! There’s nothing to do but eat fuel, organize your stuff, and to get ready to head out. Keep occupied with non-soccer mental activities (concentrate on other things; school). Use breathing technics if needed to calm yourself.
Don’t: Don’t get drawn into a freak out mode. Don’t allow emotions to control you. Don’t play the ‘what if’ game. What if this or what if that, what may or may not happen. The answer is obvious, ‘who knows.’

Traveling:

Do: It’s time. Start the transition from casual to serious, but breathe, focus, and relax. Focus on your great mechanics and all of your awesome plays
Don’t: Don’t give into nerves. You may want to leap out of your seat, but don’t release any of that highly charged expectation energy, save it. Control your thinking, be a little selfish, and purposefully chill.
The Bench:

Do: Switch to your other-self, your assertive, battle ready self. Override any Doubt Demon drama by narrowing your focus to your Big Dog memories.
Don’t: Don’t fall victim to groundless worry and fear. Stay rational and positive. Diffuse any negative thoughts that cross your mind. You’re in control, not your emotions (Talk to yourself, don’t let emotions talk to you).
The Hot Zone:

Do: Engage your brain and thoughts in rational self-talk (of course I’m nervous) and then replace those negative thoughts by recalling all your great plays (It’s just another play, I can do this). Let the Big Dog out.
Don’t: Don’t let those weird feelings of being watched get to you; welcome them. Concentrate on “that” play and nothing else. Don’t give into self-doubts. Replace with positive talk. Focus on the game, not the surroundings. Let ‘er rip.

Critical Final Minutes of play:

Do: You may be on the verge of winning. Believe!!!!! Stay in the moment. Smile inside. Continue to focus on each play. Don’t allow doubts of messing up to enter into your thoughts. Think about doing it and then do it.
Don’t: Don’t mentally wander into “what if” anything. Think rationally and shut the emotions out. Narrow your focus. Keep the switch ‘on.’
Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are probably right…Henry Ford

Deliberate:

In all that you do, do it deliberately (purposeful, premeditated, conscious, intentional, calculated, planned, thoughtful, careful, measured, methodical, focus, clarity …..)
Others may believe in you, but the only believing that matters is you believing in you, so BELIEVE!!!!!

Everyone has an Emotional Tank. When it is full, people perform better — at work, in relationships, and in sports. Unfortunately, many of us are natural tank drainers.This is too bad because filling — rather than draining — E-Tanks will improve team cohesion, help teams win more, and make going to practices and games a lot more fun.
Triple-Impact Competitors think beyond themselves. They look for ways to make teammates better. A big way to make people better is to fill their Emotional Tanks, or E-Tanks.
An E-Tank is like the gas tank in a car. You can’t drive very far with an empty tank, and you can’t play your best with an empty E-Tank. If we have a team of players who fill each other’s E-Tanks, we’ll play better than if we drain each other’s tanks.

Leadership is not tied solely to a title such as coach or captain. Leadership is open to anyone who is emotionally committed to the team’s success. It is not limited to heroic, charismatic, strong, and/or brilliant individuals who “look like a leader.”
What can you do to lead? Arrive early to practice. Set the pace during conditioning drills. Go all-out no matter what the score. Learn your teammates’ names and use them when you greet them in practice. Invite a teammate to have lunch with you and your friends. Notice when teammates are down and do what you can to pick them up. Everyone can lead.
Leadership is enhanced by emotional commitment. Emotionally committed athletes don’t just go through the motions. They are committed to team success heart and soul and relentlessly look for ways to make their teammates better.

“In pressure moments, competitors can be helped by a concept called ‘non-attachment.’ Non-attachment is the ability to detach oneself from the outcome of a performance. Top performing athletes understand the result of an athletic contest does not define them as a person. When athletes define themselves by results, the desire to succeed can produce a hyped-up emotional state that robs them of their best effort.
As you detach, focus on the things you have control over, like doing things the right way, giving maximum effort, supporting teammates, or listening carefully to your coach. Detachment should lead to calm and focus.